I’m a happily married man with four young children. That doesn’t leave a lot of time for mom and dad to get it on. We try, but there’s always little eyes on us or we’re too busy balancing everyone’s schedules to get alone time. We are good about keeping date nights and not losing ourselves in the process of daily life, but it’s just not enough action for me. So that’s why I watch porn. Or at least that’s the excuse I’m giving.

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Some things wear out after time. Take my wife’s vagina for example. Not saying that I’m a totally hung stud or anything, but after years of taking a pounding, not to mention the birth of all our kids, and just good old time taking it’s toll. Not saying that I don’t appreciate all of her efforts, just saying, every once in awhile I miss the days of her pretty pink pussy. Luckily though, everything in the world doesn’t take aging as difficult as the old lady’s pus. Take Hustler, for example, even though it’s been around for ages, it’s still at the forefront of quality porn to keep getting you off just as reliable as ever.

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That’s right, plural.

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Now I need to tread carefully because it could be interpreted by the finer sex that I’m saying they’re ugly by comparison and I am not. I am saying you ladies are naturally beautiful and I personally prefer living in reality and to watch two sweet lesbian girls kissing is sexy.

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